There are many different types of love, romantic love, parental love, sibling love, it is the glue that holds us all together and makes life worth living.
Love is also about being loved so receiving love and giving it back. Love is deemed by everyone to be one of the most important things in life and so happiness is hugely linked to being both loved and the lover.
But what are the actual reasons why love is so powerful and important to human life, we take a look at some of the most fundamental.
Table of Contents
1. The Love Drug
Love ispowerful, as strong as medication in its effect on the human brain. Scientists have monitored the effect of loveon the brain patterns of smitten individuals using imagery of their lovedone. The results showed that the part ofthe brain which responds is the same area as that which reacts to powerful drugaddiction. One of the co-authors of thestudy, Arthur Aron PhD who is a psychologist atthe State University of New York reports that “...you start to crave theperson you’re in love with like a drug.”How did that old song go by Roxy Music, ‘Love is the Drug’? And there are many many more in that genre.
Aron hasbeen researching the effects of love on the human brain for around threedecades. Love stimulates the brain inexactly the same way as powerful painkillers or drugs like cocaine. But there is a lot of interesting interrelationshipbetween the feelings of love and the feelings of pain. This is because love and cocaine target thesame ‘feel-good’ chemical in the brain called dopamine and this is also highlyinfluential in the management of pain.So love really does hurt!
Studies haverevealed that intense feelings of love, most commonly associated with the earlystages of a relationship – usually the first nine months - can also diminishfeelings of pain by up to 50%. Describedas love induced analgesia, this pain management is more focused on the rewardcentre in the brain which mimics how opiate-based painkillers work, at a deepspinal level.
Opioidaddiction is repetitive so the brain tells the body that this is good, it is areward and you really need to keep doing it, exactly the intense feelings ofobsession and desire which are evident in the heady days of fledgeling loveaffairs.
2. Primitive Rising
Love andthe need to be loved is a very basic and primal human instinct. Add to this the evolutionary wiring whichinsists that we look for a mate in order to multiply and survive and you havesomething deeply elemental, hard-wired into the human psyche.
The area of the brain which creates the intense addictive feelings of overwhelming passion and desire is known as ‘the pleasure centre’ and is also inextricably linked to man’s basic instinct to survive. It works on the simple premise of that we recognise when something feels good and we want to repeat it so satisfying hunger, becoming warm after being cold, the pleasure and enjoyment of sex.
Romanticlove and pair bonding is a universal feature of nearly 90% of cultures in theworld so found researchers at the University of Nevada. The chemicals, dopamine and Phenylethylamineor PEA which increase in density when we encounter love with another are linkedto man’s earliest evolutionary desire to pair bond.
Thestrongest instinct in man is said to be to survive, closely followed by a driveto protect those he cares about. Survival, especially in the young or helpless,is usually based on the ability to form a protective bond with another,commonly a parent. That desire to shieldand protect and for the young to seek it remains present in humans through intoadult life where even the middle-aged will still seek comfort and moral supportform a parent in times of crisis.
Thechemical-induced pleasure that our brain creates during early love is so mashedup with our basic instinct to protect, survive and multiply, all hugelyimportant to the human condition, but it is important to distinguish sex fromlove.
3. Endless Love
Loveremains critically important throughout human existence but it changes fromthose early, heady days of passion and almost drug-induced intensity tosomething more enduring and long-lasting.
Love is powerful because it transforms and evolves throughout the course of relationships and the journey of human life. Early passionate love cannot last at that frenetic level of desire and intensity. It gives way to a more solid and durable state which can cement a relationship between two people together throughout the slings and arrows of life’s difficulties.
Lovedevelops from the early passion and desire between two people into a moreunified force which may then extend through the arrival of children, into familiallove, a shared love for a child or children which also creates a further bondbetween the couple. In this context,love become multi-faceted and can manifest itself in myriad different waysmaking it one of the most diverse and complex of human emotions. It can be as in your face as the biggest ofgrand gestures or as subtle and meaningful as a glance across a room or a smileor the touch of a hand. With real deepand meaningful love, so often less is most definitely more.
4. Sacrificial Love
As theBible so eloquently puts it, “Greater love has no one than this, that he laydown his life for his friends.” [John 15:13].Laying your life down for another is often thought of in a romantic oreven familial context but what about the examples of comradeship andself-sacrifice in the two World Wars?
Theshortened quotation, “Greater love hath no man than this” is frequently foundat war memorials up and down the country, particularly to commemorate the GreatWar of 1914-1918. The meaning of theverse seems self-evident but in fact, there is a slightly different context tothe language as highlighted by Dr Michael Snape, Reader in War, Religion andSociety at the University of Birmingham.
Dr Snapesstates that Jesus is actually speaking about himself and his ultimate sacrificeof dying on the cross for the whole of mankind.Moreover, there is a wider resonance for those who lay down their livesfor their faith and that was why the verse was so popularly used. It was to offer comfort to grieving familiesthat their loved ones had lived and died for a higher cause and that theirultimate sacrifice was not in vain. Thisbackdrop would have been totally understood at the time by a society which wasfar more religious than the one we live in today.
At thedistance now of a century, these words have altered in their meaning, toreflect the heroic acts of self-sacrifice of which the two World Wars arelittered. Call it immense bravery orcall it the love of humankind, it is an example of the most powerful anddeepest of loves that are not based on a physical attraction between theopposite sexes.
5. Labyrinthine Love
Love ispowerful because it can morph into different states, transform itself intoalternative shapes so rather like a virus, it can adapt and adjust to survive. But hopefully, nicer than a virus!
Thefrenetic and intense love of early relationships will subside, usually after anaverage of a year, into something that becomes less hectic and obsessive butyet deeper and in some ways, even more powerful. Think of that love progressing on the journeyof a relationship and then, after some time, children arrive, hopefullycementing the bond even further and introducing a new type of love, familiallove. This early love has begun as aseed germinating and grown from one vigorous shoot into the branches of acomplex and established tree. It isstrong because the trunk is broad and the branches are wide and high.
Love that can develop and metamorphoses is the strongest and most powerful because of its variety and extent. Love is clever, it knows that romantic love will burn out and is not sustainable over time. The early almost drug-inducing cravings reduce as time passes and longevity in the relationship usually produces a feeling of security and strength. This is when worries over breakups and other insecurities often fade away.
This is oneof the reasons why love is so difficult to define, it is because it isconstantly changing. Most people cangive tangible examples of love but they struggle to actually define it in a fewwords. Hence, the reason why the word,‘love’ is used out of context and abused too.‘I love chocolate’ is not in quite the same league as a 25-year marriagealthough ironically, there might be some common ground in the addictive effectswhich chocolate can also have on the human brain.
6. Love is Life
All ourlives as human beings, love is never far from us. Hopefully, we begin our journey conceived inlove. We are nurtured through parentallove before growing up and finding our own romantic love and life partner ormaybe multiple partners. We may thencreate our own family so experiencing parental love as the caregiver andnurturer and thus the cycle endlessly perpetuates itself. We still have the enduring love of ourparents whilst they remain alive and other family members such as siblings andgrandparents. Love is at every turn.
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Theproliferation of online dating sites indicates that those who are minus love ina romantic context feel hard done by and lonely. It seems that parental and sibling love andeven the love of friends is not enough.The quest to find that one life partner, ‘the special one’ shows thereare gradations of love and this one appears to be the most valuable. Immortalised in poetry, prose, songs andother media such as television and film, the journey to that one true love isas important now as it has ever been.
True love,romantic love, real love, call it what you will is definitely the ultimateprize. And it is from this premier love,this optimal emotion, this love to end all loves, that everything else cascadesdown as it is this love which begets human life and propagates the human racegiving rise to sibling love, parental love and more distant family love. It is the spring of life and therein lies itsinherent power and importance.
7. Love is not Guaranteed
Love is notguaranteed, it doesn’t come with a hallmark of quality, integrity and itslongevity if only it did. The innateinsecurity of love, rather perversely, is what makes it so desirable and thesubject of such focus and this is one of the reasons why it is so powerful. Notevery fairytale encounter leads to a happy ending sadly.
Takingsomething for granted can devalue its importance in our life, we all do it andit is only when it is denied us or taken away that we really appreciate thetrue value of what we had. Take ourhealth as one example, unappreciated probably until it is challenged orsomething as simple as a good job or a lovely home and especially, arelationship.
In theearly days of a new relationship, passionate love is insecure, not certain, notguaranteed. There is always that wonder,that question, does he or she feel the same way about me and, to the samedegree? That’s the problem withaddictive feelings (and substances). Weare out of control to some degree and want a guarantee that we can have ournext fix. But those initial romanticfeelings are vulnerable and delicate, intense and compelling but neverguaranteed.
Whensomething is not a dead cert in our lives, when we know we can’t take it forgranted, human nature is thus that it evaluates the importance of thatcommodity; often its value becomes directly related to its availability. Something that is an ultimate to us as humanbeings but is not guaranteed is attributed a worth beyond all worths. And there is something to be said for thescarcity value of real true love.
8. Same Sex Love
Same sexlove is hugely powerful because it has been fought for and hard-won indifferent societies where acceptance and tolerance have been a long slowbattle.
Some mightsay same sex love is even more powerful and important because it has had toundergo resistance, intolerance and even physical and verbal abuse throughoutit* passage to a more visible presence in society. Being persecuted in one form or another seemsto have made the prize even more worthy and coveted.
It is a perversityof human nature that if something is illicit or illegal or even just frownedupon, it is somehow more attractive and sought after than if it weretransparent and accepted. Same sex lovehas enjoyed something of this cachet which has imbued it with a power andsignificance which ironically might wane a little now that there are more opennessand tolerance.
The pictureis becoming more complete as same sex couples are now allowed to adopt and arerecognised legally as ‘parents’ so sharing the same branches on the love treeas heterosexual couples. The fight foracceptance will transition into a more solid and open family love rather likethat enjoyed by other members of society.
9. Scarcity Value
Real trueand enduring love is rare, isn’t it?Many people spend their entire lives on a quest for it. It is the one thing money can’t buy and sadlysome people never do seem to stumble upon it whereas others manage to locatethe source of the holy grail and have long happy and loving relationships.
Anythingthat is rare and beautiful will always have mysticism and lure, like thevisible lustre of an imperial Faberge Easter egg. It is human instinct to want to reach out forthe unattainable but it is important to be careful not to muddle up wanting aparticular person with wanting the actual status and condition of love itself. The more desirable that person as well, themore people say how amazing he or she is, the more the kudos increases.
It is wellknown in business and retail studies that scarcity functions like an obstaclewhich makes the pursuit of that particular goal or end product even moredesirable. Think Chanel or otherdesigner brands. Does the fact thatreal, true love is not as common as would like to think it is mean that we craveit more just for this very fact?
It is awell-known selling device by retailers to create a perception of scarcity inorder to drive up sales. Using thephrase ‘limited edition’ or implying that something is a special purchase or ofa limited supply also seeks to pique customer interest and buying power. Equally, offering eye-watering discounts issomething many people feel they cannot miss out on even though they may notreally want or need that item.
Real loveis a scarce commodity and so its value and power and importance is seriouslyhighlighted by this fact.
10. And Last But Not Least...
Love ispart of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.Maslow’s hierarchy is a motivational psychological theory comprising afive-tier model of essential human needs depicted as a colourful pyramid. This was Abraham Maslow’s view of what humansrequire to grown and finally meet what he describes as, ‘self-actualization’ soleading a fulfilling and complete existence, achieving the destiny of one’s ownpotential. Abraham Maslow was anAmerican psychologist who died in 1970.His theory was unveiled in a paper published in 1943 called, “A Theoryof Human Motivation”.
The shapeof the triangle clearly depicts the layering up of basic human needs startingwith the physical or as Maslow describes it, the ‘physiological’ so oxygen,food and water. Safety is next followedby love and belonging. Esteem followslove with the apex of the pyramid being self-actualisation which Maslow definesas, “what a man can be, he must be.”
Maslow’slove recognises something beyond pure sex and the need to reproduce. It embraces familial love and love foranimals and also objects so it is love in the fullest sense of the word andemotion. Maslow’s hierarchy is as relevant today as itwas nearly a century ago when it was first propounded. People argue and debate the relevance, they speculateon the pyramid being built in a different order – Maslow was quite insistentabout the order in which he built it – and interestingly, he has placed loveright in the centre of the grouping. Butabsolutely no-one disputes the power and importance of love and its place onthe image.
Listing the number of reasons why love is so important andpowerful to human life, is probably just as challenging as trying to definelove in its entirety. Almost anyone youask will have a different opinion and create a unique list and yet everyone’slist will be correct and valid because, in truth, the reasons why love is soimportant and powerful to human life are almost too numerous to mention.
One thing that remains indisputable however and that is thatlove is integral to human life, it is both powerful and important. List your reasons and then share this articlewith your friends and see what they think.
Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.
Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?
This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.
